Going My Way

 People have self-esteem and tend to evaluate themselves in a good way in the case that they must compare to other. This kind of condition is called as "A model of sustainability of self-esteem". There are two types in it. 1.A state of mind as reflection 2.A state of mind as comparison A state of mind as reflection People tend to try to admit and evaluate things which have relation to them. It is called as "A desire of glory". For example, some boasts of being friend of celebrity. A state of mind as comparison People tend to be reluctant to be in lower position compared to other, even if he is the friend of them. They don't want to be in that situation particularly in the point that they think they are good at.

 People tend to have the desire about themselves that they want to estimate themselves higher than what they are in real life. By having affirmative view about self, people begin to have the power of living. Why must people have the affirmative view? The reason why they tend to be so is that they try to run away from the fear against death which is embedded in their origin. So, they try to have affirmative desire to their estimation in order to have the stability which is far from fear of death. Actually, those who have high affirmative estimation to themselves have well being, enthusiasm, strong mentality to the pressure of people, happiness, independence, and low rate to be cancer.  To the contrary to this, those who have negative estimation to themselves have depression, pessimistic about their future, fear against new things, anxiety, and reluctance to effort. Although affirmative estimation may have some trouble to social and psychological problems because of the delusion...

 People tend to have uncomfortable emotion when they feel low self esteem. By feeling it, they try to go to higher self esteem. In that process, they get to have comfortable emotion by comparing to the other who are inferior to them. We call the process which compares to other as "Social comparison". There are two types of comparison. 1.A comparison to lower than themselves 2. A comparison to higher than themselves Japanese tend to show low self esteem on purpose as strategy to communication between people in order to make another feel a comparison to lower than himself.

 Yesterday, I went to Okubo to do Live of Julien Concasser. I have began to take part in this band as a support keyboardist since May of this year. We did Live at Kitaurawa Ayers in July. We are going to produce Album, so I should do recording of keyboard part. Yesterday's Live was very fun and I felt that I wanted to do Live more than now in the future. Other bands performed in that event, and the band I was very impressed was jazz fusion band called "Okosama pancake". Their performance was very cool and had the atmosphere of adult and I was moved to their performance. Because the genre was different between our band and them, there is no comparison to which has  more quality of performance. But, their music was very splendid and had theme per songs. I began to be interested in how to play jazz fusion. But, my hand loses flexibility because of the side effect of medicine of mental illness. It will be good for me to try to play that genre, but I think now that I will not ...

 I am going to be supposed to make a new movie for Terra. This movie is going to be seen by the members who have relation to hida clinic. I want to give this movie the essence of "hope". So I would like to express success story in that movie. For now, I am busy to prepare for next Live of Julien Concasser at Hotshot in Okubo on December 3rd. So, after live, I want to set out for making movie. I want to start from thinking the scenario of the movie. I want to make it have more quality than previous movie.